I haven't played DeJap's ToP SNES patch since version 1.0 when it was initially released. It's been eight years since. I'd long forgotten about nearly everything in it aside from sticking points (most people only seem to remember the game for the raunchy, over-exaggerated, teenage humor they injected into the script). But fans more obsessed than "casual" players found a whole lot more to complain about. Even though I had started the ToP PSX translation before their SNES patch was released, I wasn't particularly that familiar with the story, and had little to critique the translation I had played.
Fast forward eight years later. I've been working on ToP PSX for nine years now. I've become extremely familiar with the story and characters as told by the GBA translation, and the translated script I possess for the PSX version, after going over it to ensure it makes sense and testing it numerous times. So I decided to run through the first four or five hours or so of the game with DeJap's patch using cheats so that I could just look at the script. I'd been extremely curious to review it, especially after looking at the screenshots on their website the other day. So...
The writing quality of the script is fine for the most part. Most people unfamiliar with the game will have little reason to question it. But for me, I've found a lot of contradictions and concerning decisions. I won't nitpick them all, but there's definitely a lot of stuff I would have done differently. Some scenes seem a little dumbed down, and some lines completely changed (almost chalked some of them up as differences between the SNES and PSX version scripts as they have differences, but the GBA script, which is based on the SNES version, often says otherwise). Some lines are even missing entirely, and not due to SNES/PSX version differences.
So, let's begin. I'm only going to try showing most of the major issues I've found. As I said, there are numerous other things which also bother me plenty, but I'll leave them alone. It is not my intention to compare this with the PSX translation I've been working on, but I'm looking at as more an observer who knows the storyline before translation.
Obviously, spoilers abound.
Starting this with a nitpick, but this isn't a curse, it's more like a duty. But more importantly, he's actually questioning IF it's the end, not saying that it is.
Another nitpick of mine. Indeed, this is supposed to be an amusing line, but it wasn't about zealots from Euclid terrorizing people. That honestly sounds a little ridiculous to me considering what's actually said here. It's more like something that makes fun of the church's tree-hugging extremists. The type that go "Oh my god, I stepped on a twig!"
There's no church or religious people in Euclid anyway. You can make up excuses, I guess...
In actuality, she doesn't know Cless' name at all and is asking him not to harm it (any further). The tree's already dead, after all.
The sign isn't originally threatening like this. It just requests that people not damage the tree.
The gatekeeper's line is completely changed for whatever reason. Originally, he tells you where he thinks Mars' house is, and that's why you engage in a conversation with his wife after talking to him.
She shouldn't be familiar to him, at all.
Talk about forced...
This is the first time Dhaos is being unsealed, so I'm not sure what he's implying here.
Morrison is a cleric, not a wizard. Magic ceases to exist in the present, so this is impossible.
More accurately, he tried to destroy that country.
He's depressed here, indeed. But making it so that he's beating himself up is taking it too far.
Calling Mint's power "Mana" is pretty strange if you're used to the original; the power that magic and Spirits thrive on is called mana in Japanese.
None of this is implied in the Japanese. You're not actually supposed to learn that Alvanista is researching magic at this point. The conversations that follow still ask where they can find a magic user, but that should be obvious with this addition.
Furthermore, Alvanista couldn't be researching for a way to defeat Dhaos. Alvanista's royal family is
under the influence of Dhaos at this point in the game to prevent exactly that. Remember when you have to save the prince? He's being manipulated by one Dhaos' henchmen.
Finally, I'm pretty sure Midgard isn't researching magic itself. They're actually researching the fusion of magic and science, aka magitechnology (or as I've heard, Mystek in this translation). But you're not supposed to know about magitechnology for a long time, either.
Also, Dhaos is only attacking humans (Midgard, in particular) because of their magitechnology research, because it inhibits his objective (he needs a Great Seed, but magitechnology will kill the source), not because he's the big evil that wants all humans to suffer.
This isn't the best screenshot, but here he's telling them that only pure-blooded elves and half-elves can use magic. However, he just casted a fire ball spell but clearly looks like a human. He only has a little bit of elf blood in him, but only enough to be able to use low-tier spells.
Perhaps they got confused and mixed this up with meteorologist; Bart is known for his accuracy in predicting the weather. That point was deleted from the script.
More nitpicky, is that it's refering to Lone Valley as just some "long valley" (and then calling it a mountain when you get there). The place is actually named Lone Valley, and the island it's located on is it itself called Lone Island.
A DeJap classic. This kid's actually the exact opposite of how he's portrayed here. He's actually pretty well-mannered. He originally mentions something like "There are so few people watching, they probably won't be coming back." Leaves the impression that he's one of the two people there that actually like them.
Realm of Magic is a mistranslation of makai (魔界). It should be Underworld. Shoki's English equivalent is "miasma." The pun in the third screenshot is completely lost.
Even more confusing for those knowledgeable about the original terms used. Here, it's implying that what was originally called mana is now being called magic, and not differentiating it with magic spells.
This creates a conflict, because the world of the present shouldn't have existed if this were true.
"Magic" (mana in Japanese) is now inconsistently being referred to as a "mystic power." Though it's entirely possible they were trying to create a synonym for it. Even if that's the case, it's a bit oddly placed...
But now Magic/mystic power is being referred to as "mana" as it was intended to be. But now this causes a very big problem with Mint's powers.
Though implied here, Mint's power has nothing to do with Magic/mystic power/Mana.
Conflicts with Tristan's explanation that Mr. Morrison is a wizard.
When you think about it, it's a bit odd that you'd try to replenish something with the same thing. Assuming you'd continue calling both Mint's power "Mana" and the power of magic "Mana."
It's a shame DeJap isn't really around anymore to go back and correct all these mistakes.
I wonder if I should play through this further with this or not...
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